After having a baby, your entire world can suddenly revolve around someone else's needs.
- When did they last eat?
- Are they warm enough?
- Why are they crying?
- When will they sleep?
And somewhere in between the feeding, changing, washing and trying to get some sleep yourself, your own needs can quietly disappear.
But taking care of yourself isn't selfish.
It is part of taking care of your family.
Self-care during postpartum doesn't have to mean a spa day, an hour at the gym or an entire afternoon alone. Sometimes it looks much smaller — and that's okay.
Start With the Basics
Before thinking about complicated wellness routines, ask yourself:
- Have I eaten?
- Have I had some water?
- Have I rested?
- Have I showered today?
These simple things can make a surprising difference.
Keep a bottle of water beside your favourite chair. Put easy snacks where you usually feed the baby. Let someone else prepare lunch.
You don't have to earn rest.
Make Space for Small Moments
You may not have an hour to yourself → But perhaps you have five minutes → Five minutes with a warm cup of tea → Five minutes sitting by an open window → Five minutes listening to music while the baby sleeps → Five minutes writing down what you're feeling → Small moments count.
Instead of asking yourself, “How can I find time for self-care?”, try asking:
“What would make the next ten minutes feel a little better?”
Sometimes that's enough.
Accept the Help
Many new mothers find it difficult to accept help.
We can feel like we should be able to do everything ourselves.
But when someone says, “What can I do?” you don't have to say, “I'm fine.”
You can say:
- “Could you bring dinner?”
- “Could you hold the baby while I shower?”
- “Could you do the laundry?”
- “Could you come sit with me for a while?”
Support isn't a sign that you're failing.
It is one of the ways we get through big transitions.
You Are Still a Person Outside of Motherhood
Becoming a mother can be an enormous part of your identity, but it doesn't erase everything that came before.
You are still the person who loves certain music.
The person who has favourite foods.
The person who enjoys getting dressed up.
The person who wants to read, create, work, travel, laugh and have conversations that aren't about nappies.
You don't have to “get your old self back.”
Instead, you can slowly discover who you are now — including the parts of yourself that you want to keep.
Let Go of Perfect
- There will be days when the house is messy.
- There will be days when you eat dinner standing up.
- There will be days when you spend most of the day in pyjamas.
- That doesn't mean you're doing motherhood badly.
- Your baby doesn't need a perfect mother.
They need a mother who is cared for, supported and allowed to be human.
A Little Reminder for You
- You don't need to completely transform your life.
- You don't need a perfect morning routine.
- You don't need to meditate for 30 minutes every day.
- Start small.
- Drink the water.
- Eat the snack.
- Take the shower.
- Step outside.
- Ask for help.
- Rest without feeling guilty.
And remember:
You matter too.
Taking care of yourself isn't taking something away from your baby.
Sometimes, it's the very thing that helps you have a little more energy, patience and space for the people you love.
You don't have to pour from an empty cup.
You might also like to read the following posts:
→ "How to support your partner after having a baby"
→ "The First 6 Weeks: What to Expect After Birth"
/ Polina